


Stranded

by idrilhadhafang



Series: The Broken Edge [14]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Ben Solo POV, Ben is an adorable dork, Daddy Issues, Jedi Ben Solo, Kid POV, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Slow Build, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 22:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10545238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: The evolution of Ben Solo and Poe Dameron's relationship.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Slow Build
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> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
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> Author's Notes: Title is taken from the song by Plumb. Thought it would be appropriate.

1\. The first time he meets Poe Dameron, he's three and Poe's six. Friends of Mommy and Daddy are visiting, and Ben won't lie that he is a little nervous. Still, from what he can sense of them, they seem like nice people. Sunny people. There's something about them that is friendly and warm, and Ben is fascinated.

There's also a Big Kid with them, and Ben's fascinated. A Big Kid's here! Will this Big Kid want to play with him? Will he like him? There always has been something about the Big Kids that's fascinated Ben. They always seem so confident, so cool. Beings he wants to be.

Even as Mommy guides him towards the Damerons (that's what they're called, Ben knows just from what he's been able to gather. Kes Dameron and Shara Bey. He likes the name Shara, he finds; it's pretty), Ben can't help but feel a little shy. The other teachers don't dislike him but they certainly think he's Odd. Will the Big Kid think he's Odd?

When he's introduced to Poe Dameron, though, all of that evaporates just with Poe's grin and his easy, "I'm Poe; what's your name?"

"B-Ben," he says.

They spend the next few minutes or so talking about different things, about who they are, things of that nature.   
Poe wants to be a pilot one day. Ben thinks he'll be an awesome pilot, he really will. They also play a game together called X-wing pilots -- they pretend they're pilots on missions, and that Ben likes. Daddy's shown him what hyperspace and the stars look like, and they've always fascinated Ben, as has the whole process of fixing a ship. Ben hopes that one day he can go and see the stars.

He hopes.

  
2\. When Ben goes away to the Academy, the best part of it is being able to see Poe from time to time. He misses his Mommy and Daddy, but Poe is nice, he's always been. Sometimes when Ben visits, Mr. and Mrs. Dameron fuss over him. "You're too skinny, kiddo," Mr. Dameron says. "What have they been feeding you over at the Academy? Honest to stars..." And Ben can't say he minds. He likes the Damerons' cooking; it's really good. The soup, for starters, the bread, the noodles, and that's just to begin with.

And he likes playing X-wing Pilots with Poe. They pretend they're on missions, exploring different planets, and Ben knows that one day, he wants to see them all.

 

3\. Shara Bey dies when Poe's eight and Ben's five. Ben's still little and doesn't understand the concept of death completely outside of what Uncle Luke's taught him, but he knows Mrs. Dameron's not gone for good. She's still watching him and Poe, looking out for them, and maybe one day she can go visit.

 

4\. Even as Poe gets older, for some reason, he still hangs out with Ben. He has his own friends, of course, and Ben can't say he can stand all of them, but he still hangs out with Ben, asking him about how the Academy's going, playing some games with him, making up stories about planets they go to, things like that. Some of the other kids jokingly call Ben Poe's "little shadow", which hurts, but Poe stands up for him every time.

"I like Ben," he says. "He's a good kid."

And there's something about that which makes Ben feel almost giddy when Poe says it.

 

5\. When Ben's thirteen, he starts having strange, fluttery feelings around Poe. There's something about the way Poe laughs, the way he smiles, how nice he is, how funny -- some of his comments leave Ben laughing a lot. And he's so confident. Ben, meanwhile, is awkward and too tall and too skinny and weirdly proportioned and, as Master Naris says, a minefield waiting to go off. Ben isn't going to lie that that observation still hurts. But maybe it's true. Maybe he does have too many issues and such. Other Jedi don't have them. And Poe doesn't have them.

But he gets fluttery when they touch, even accidentally, fluttery when Poe laughs, and when Poe cries, Ben will do anything to make him laugh again, even tell a stupid story from the Academy. Occasionally he daydreams about taking Poe to different planets. Maybe, just like in that one holo, he could give Poe a whole hangar of ships or something.

The Order is split down the middle about romance in general. But Ben knows these fluttery feelings...they aren't going anywhere.

 

6\. As Ben gets older, his feelings get even worse. His heart skipping a beat, his stomach...well, Ben's starting to understand the whole phrase of having mynocks in your stomach, at least. He gets them sometimes, that fluttery, trembly feeling, when he's talking to Poe sometimes. Looking into Poe's eyes and being amazed at how dark they are. Ben's become less awkward as time's gone on, but he still wishes he had Poe's confidence and ease. When Ben's seventeen and Poe's twenty, that's especially true. There are some things about Poe that Ben knows he doesn't have -- that sense of having it all together that people who are older usually have. Maybe one day he can have that. Maybe it's just one of those things you naturally acquire when you get older. Maybe.

 

7\. His sabaac games with Dad have had an underlying note of tension between them ever since Dad was late to his Knighting ceremony. Ben says it's all right, but deep inside there's a lot of resentment. Is he not good enough for his father? It's been a constant feeling for as long as Ben remembers. That whole feeling of why-do-you-have-to-leave.

He doesn't say any of it out loud, though. You learn to swallow your emotions in the Jedi Order. That's how it is.

It's during the sabaac game they're playing today that Ben talks about Poe, and when Dad inquires further, Ben starts talking about Poe, how beautiful and kind and confident and things like that. He's enchanting, Ben thinks. Nearly perfect.

Dad grins, but it's affectionate, no mockery in it. "Getting serious, are you?"

"Yeah."

"Well, why don't you tell him? I mean, he's a good kid, and I think he kinda likes you too..."

The question is, Ben thinks, how is he going to do that?

  
8\. It's after Poe's boyfriend breaks up with him that Ben does whatever he can just to support him. Listening to Poe when Poe just has to rant, watching vapid holos with him while having takeout, holding him when he has to, and Ben just wishes he could hold Poe longer. Poe is such a bright presence; Ben can't imagine anyone who'd want to put out his light.

He never wants to see Poe in pain. He wants to see him happy, see his radiant smile, hear his voice brighten, things like that. He wants this, he really does.

 

9\. In addition to when Ben watches holos with Poe and comforts him when he can't sleep after their ordeal being tortured, Ben brings over food. He's not much of a cook, but he can try, and it's worth it to see the smile on Poe's face when Ben does it. They eat, and watch a holo together, and Ben wonders how exactly to tell Poe the truth about how he loves him.

 

10\. When Poe finally reciprocates, when Ben finally gains the courage to tell the truth, they go out on their first   
adventure as lovers. It's not like hopping planet to planet -- yet -- but there is something about watching Yavin from one of the branches of that Force sensitive tree that Uncle Luke gave Poe's family that's absolutely magic. Ben doubts any other Jedi has ever had a view like that.

"It's just as beautiful as I remembered," Poe says. He turns towards Ben. "Thank you."

Ben grins. "No problem."

They sit in the tree, watching the sun color the Yavin sky rose.

 


End file.
